So, this is the first post in my informal “blog”. I know what I want to say on this page, but how to say it is going to be the initial challenge I am going to face. To start with the formalities (the least daunting part of this experience), my name is Wiggy and I am an undergraduate studying Politics, Philosophy and Economics in the arse-end of nowhere in semi-rural Lancashire. Whilst the marketing team of the institution in which I study – Lancaster University – are quick to boast about the Uni’s status as No. 7 in the UK to prospective students (humble brag), they conveniently fail to mention the dire state of the City’s nightlife and relative isolation from the rest of civilisation. A phenomenon that I find quite bizarre, considering that our ability to drink to excess and our density of population dispersal are the two aspects of being British I relate to most when considering what it is to live on these Isles. I think this is most apparent whenever we as Brits ever consider our American cousins’ state of being, as we collectively drop our jaws at the thought of not being able to cane it before the age of 21 in our local, and as we struggle to comprehend the concept of abundant amounts of free space. My degree consists of functional mathematics, the intrinsic analysis of the state of political systems around the World, and a consideration of life’s big questions. It is not as enjoyable or interesting as it sounds, at 9:00 on a Thursday morning after a long night out in one of the two mediocre-to-poor clubs on offer in the City. That is if you found PPE to be in anyway remotely interesting. If not, I do not blame you whatsoever.

Having established what I do and where quite succinctly, why is more difficult to answer, and is one of the reasons for me starting to write on my own time. The decision to study, was almost not a conscious one. This is what I grew up knowing was expected of me. Not necessarily explicitly by my parents or peers, but by an external force represented through linear education. Often, highlighted at several significant points during my life studying especially, it has become apparent that I am the prototypical student. I enter on the path, I choose a field early, pursue it well (enough), all because it is what was expected from an early age. Why? I’m not sure. I could give you a long insightful answer concerned with the betterment of my self to try and increase the awareness I have of my own existence, or something along the lines of the importance of the cultivation of my faculties as a human for the reason of finding a purpose. However that isn’t why I chose to study. I chose it probably because I knew very little, to nothing else. More specifically as to why I chose my particular subject of study, is the result of my early teenage years taking an interest in politics and the composition of society in how we live our lives. Previously a radical libertarian socialist – now a moderate concerned with the centre-centre-left of politics – I believed I had found my calling in the professional world. I think I made the right choice for me under the circumstances, and I do love what I study, but I think the decision may have been made on a false pretence. I acted like my life in study, as the pathway to my professional job, had to be just that. The pathway to professionalism. This excluded in my young mind something that I know see as a pipe dream based on my early life choices in academia.

This brings me onto the next dimension of my life that I would argue defines who I am. That is sports. It is such a cliché, and frankly quite boring. “20 year old middle-class suburban white male, grows up to love a plethora of sports”. It is a the tagline to my life, that could be one of those ironic Daily Mash headlines. I play American Football, captain my (normal) football team, and am interested in any other game or hobby that mimics or involves at least some athletic ability. I go the gym an excessive amount and would say that is my primary past-time. I am sure this makes me sounds very dull. I am the standard 21st century male considered with little else besides the gym, sports, and spending time with mates. Despite this, I don’t want this to mean you have any preconceived ideas about me. I realise the mould in which I have been made, and very much want to break it. Going back to how my choice of studies, and why I chose to pursue a professional life in politics, I did not see sports as a viable enough option for my academic development. It resembled something to radical from the idea that I held about what school and college was all about. I viewed it as not something that could be defined as professional, unless you played it. Regretfully, following a career in the world of sports analytics was not on option in my mind. Does this mean I’m not happy? Definitely not. I enjoy my degree and would enjoy a job in politics. However, could I see myself truly excelling in the field of politics? Doing overtime to prove my worth in order to advance my career, for example. Staying late and enjoying it. Probably no. That is my biggest worry. Anyway, I’m sure I will write more on this in the future, so that is something I will park for the time being.

To return to something that I touched upon however that is important to this introduction to me, was this idea of trying to break the mould and be that bit different. Again, this is not a revolutionary idea. This is something you see in every motivational speech on Youtube, or as the moral of the story in a Marvel Cinematic Universe movie. But it is important as a motivation for me to write, and try best express myself. I see myself as unexceptional. I do not do things that lead to greatness. Do I have the potential? I am confident enough to say potentially. Yet to achieve these things, I need to push myself. Write without being told to. Do things outside of my comfort zone to toughen myself up mentally and physically. Be someone better in my actions, to allow myself to at least have the opportunity to do something special. I can see my future being one of normality, and that is the greatest internal fear I have for the next 60 years of my life. Chipping away at the mould that I was forged in, to create a new image is my goal. To defy fate and probability.

Now, I have found this quite a difficult exercise. My best attempts at being articulate may have come up short, but that is not for me to judge. What has been difficult in this experience, the action of writing my own thoughts and feelings down and expressing what I have to say, has been the use of the word ‘I’. Maybe it has been overused in this piece, maybe it was inevitable as an introduction into my life. But what is really intriguing, is the uneasiness experienced when talking about one’s self, using ‘I’. It is not something we commonly do as people. We don’t often write “I think this”, or “I feel that”. Do we retract when writing essays, critical pieces, or professional work, from ourselves so much in the quest for objectivity, that we begin to lose sight of self. OK we have social media to lash out, for the individual’s paroxysms of anger and hate stored up to be released on the world, but that isn’t our day-to-day operations and existence between 9 and 5. Has the awkwardness of I added to this idea that we are less humans when we work or write? Are we becoming less human in how we act, feel, speak; all as a result of the suppression of our offline-self? A phenomenon that has arguably led to the hate-filled platform of social media, that we see dictating the life around us today. I am not sure, but maybe so. Apologies for going off on a tangent from what this piece was meant for, but that was something that writing this has stirred within me during the process. Anyway, I shall end quite abruptly. This has been an brief introduction to me, and I’m sure I will write more on sports, politics, and a number of other topics soon. Although this went slightly deeper than anticipated, I think it has been a real good start for this online journal.